Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Blah

As I lay here about to get ready for work I thought I would take a few minutes to write for myself. I miss my life out west. This move really is harder on me than I thought it would be. All my friends are out there and seeing them all together kinda hurts. I'm glad they're all there for each other, trust me, however I just wish I was there with them. Yes I might have my church friends here, but it's not the same. I can't just up and go on a road trip when I like, go to the lake, or go over to someones house and just spend the night because we want to. One thing I have missed the most is Sunday game night with all my friends. I started it in Utah with my friends there and continued to do so in Rexburg. It just feels like now that I live back here, my life is planned out and I feel like a puppet. I feel like I have certain things to do and if I do anything else or hangout with the wrong people that I have to explain who and where I am going. I am use to living a life where I can just up and do something, or not really have plans but just hang out at someones house. Here I feel like I can't do this. For the last week or so I've just started to feel like I'm in a box with noway out and that the walls are coming in on top of me... (Have I ever mentioned I am claustrophobic?)... not a good feeling. Just knowing that this time the move is for good is weird. I know we all grow up and must move on at some point in time. I just am having a difficult time with this, even more so since I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I feel like a ball of emotions and that I'm going to explode if I don't get my thoughts out, so that is the reason for this post. Sorry if it's not cheerful or has anything entertaining or exciting for you to read. If you have made it to this point of it... good for you... this post is mostly just for me, but of course you are more than welcome to read. There is a lot more on my mind, but sadly I have to go to my dead end job (But I am at least glad I have a job). Loves.

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